DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK!
Mark 9: 30-37
Two boys were sitting next to the first boy’s mother
attending their first wedding. The
minister had just finished asking the couple their vows when the one boy
whispered to the other, “How many times are you allowed to get married?” “Once
I think,” replied the other. “But I know some friends who have step-dads,”
protested the other. “You’re right, he said, and after doing some addition in
his head said, maybe it’s sixteen times!” “Sixteen! How do you figure?” And the
boy replied, “Well I just heard them
say they would take 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, and 4 poorer.” In this information age, there are plenty of
people who find the answers to their questions from the internet, from friends,
from television, or even from overhearing what other’s say. Is that really the way you want to learn
about important matters, or is that the way you want your child to learn about
such things? Today, thanks to
pharmaceutical commercials about products that 20 years ago would only have
been discussed behind closed doors, doctors tell me some patients come in
asking for certain prescriptions rather than having their doctor, a specialist,
treat them. When it comes to sexuality,
parents often wait too long to broach the subject with their children, letting
the television or a poorly informed teenager teach the subject that, for some,
is too embarrassing to discuss. Today I am inviting your questions, even
non-religious ones, and I’ll give you the most honest and well-informed answer
I can. A good pastor should be approachable,
non-judgmental, and be constantly studying Scripture to know ways to deal with
religion, ethics, and human relations. So today you are invited into this safe
space. Every week in my Confirmation
Class I invite youth, fresh from middle school and high school hallways where
they are always having to defend or protect their bodies and their speech, to
come to our class where the only ones they can laugh at are themselves and no
hurtful comments can be shared. I tell them, as I tell you, that secure people can laugh at themselves and
build others up, insecure people laugh at others and try to build themselves up
in other’s eyes. So Peggie Painter and I over the
last few years, and Mary Ann and I this year, tell them there is no question
that is foolish or stupid and we will answer them as honestly as we can. When trust is built, kids will share things
about their parents, their friends, their school and their personal issues. If you want someone to trust you with questions,
you must be trust worthy, that is, that you take questions seriously and
confidentially. If you learn not to
over-react to a question like “Mom, I want to talk with you about birth
control” and you learn the difference between someone needing to talk and
someone needing to be rescued, then you will build trust in others. So today, what can this minister help you
answer?
Just so you know, you are in good company. Disciples in Jesus’ day had the same fear of
asking what they did not understand. Why
would they have been afraid to ask?
Could they have had rabbis who scolded them for asking questions they
should have learned? Could their parents
have said “Don’t ask me questions now, I’m working?” Or could it have been for another reason?
Bible scholar William Barclay describes the disciples’ actions and motives this
way: “When they did not understand, they were afraid to ask further questions.
They were like men who know so much that they were afraid to know more. A man
might receive a verdict from his doctor. He might think the general purport of
the verdict bad, but not understand all the details, and he might be afraid to
ask questions for the simple reason that he is afraid to know more. The
disciples were like that.” Are you
like the disciples? Are you afraid to ask questions about God, or Scripture or
the suffering of Jesus because it might challenge your faith? Every class that is taught Sundays or through
the week is there for you to learn. Certainly in sharing we may risk learning
things about the Bible’s message with which we may struggle; we may even have
others disagree with us. But friends, let me tell this to you as gently as I
can: If the faith by which you live is
the faith that was formed as a child, but you have not let it be tested by the
grays of the real world, but only the black and white world of childhood, then
such a faith may be described as an eggshell faith that can crack and crumble
at the touch of something that doesn’t fit or is difficult to understand. Or to
use a Biblical illustration, the person who has such a closed or guarded faith
has built his or her house of faith on sand that can be blown or washed away,
while a faith built by questions, answers, and probing is a faith built on rock
which neither wind, rain, questions nor new information can destroy. When I had
faith questions in my freshman year in college, people who were willing to talk
with me about my doubts, and hear me out, and wrestle with answers,
strengthened my faith. As an English Literature major, I recall reading these
perfect words from poet John Greenleaf Whittier in his work “Questions of
Life:”
A bended staff I would not break,
A feeble faith
I would not shake,
Nor even
rashly pluck away the error which some truth may stay,
Whose loss
might leave the soul without a shield
Against the
shafts of doubt.
Mary Ann and I had a friend in college who was a wonderful
person and very religious. She felt she had a strong faith in God through her
personal Savior, Jesus Christ, yet she could not bring herself to take a New
Testament course and learn new things about the text. Three times she signed up for the course and three times she
dropped it before attending a single class. She didn’t want to hear anything
that would throw a monkey wrench into her faith, where every thing worked if no
questions were asked. Is that an
example of faith to you? Is that how your faith works?
Faith is a growing proposition. It is not stagnant or
comfortable but includes questions and discomfort. Faith even includes having questions and
doubts about Jesus, or about Creator God, or about God’s Holy Spirit. As we
seek answers, we work to dispel doubts, or to live with mystery, as part of our
faith. Faith encourages us to take the next step, to ask the questions, and
listen for the answers before we will
have the security of a solid-rock foundation; we will look for a long time before we actually see; we will listen for
many moments before we can actually hear; we will pray for God to soften our
hearts many days before we hear God respond: “I’m doing my part; now do yours.
Trust and believe!” Some have cried out: “I believe! Help, Thou, my unbelief!”
And Jesus just says, “Follow me.”
What will you do? The disciples
were human, just like us. Sometimes they would ask questions of Jesus and other
times fear would hold them back, but they
still followed him. Thomas Russell once put it this way: “The errors of
faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief.” The strongest faith is
built on questions and doubts. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Jeffrey A. Sumner
Let us pray: Eternal God, we
ask for your guidance and strength to give us courage and to give shaky faith
the stepping stones with which to cross chasms of doubt. Through your grace,
help us, that we may serve our Savior Jesus as his faithful disciples our live
long. In his name we pray. Amen.