THE LESSON ABOUT TWO EARS
Mark 7: 31-37
One of the most useful tools in
assessing why people act the way they do is the Myers-Briggs Personality
Inventory. This insightful international test that comes from our own state describes
test-takers personalities, preferences, and natural ways of making choices. One
part of the test describes why in school most of us had a boy in class who
would frantically wave his hand to answer a question when he hadn’t yet come up
with an answer. The way he processed was called “external:” he had to talk it
through out loud before he could end up with an answer! Some girls process that
way too. Many others in my class were “internal” processors: they had a
conversation going on in their mind: their brain was running while their mouth
wasn’t, and they only spoke once their mind came to a conclusion. In marriage
counseling, often when couples disagree, the husband, for example might say:
“When we get mad at each other I need to get away and think for awhile, but she
keeps pursuing me saying ‘No! We need to talk this out!’” But he can’t hear
himself think. When I explain that she’s
an external processor, and he’s an
internal processor, couples stop blaming and demonizing one another. I
counsel the external processor to be as patient as she (or he) can be to give
the partner space to process the problem. And I tell the internal processor to
work as fast as he (or she) can to get ready to talk about an issue.
Understanding why we are the way we are helps build patience and understanding,
diffusing anger and a willingness to give up.
As I read the story of Jesus’ healing
of the man who was deaf, and therefore, had problems with speech, I was wondering
if Jesus healed a deaf person today would he be doing the person any favors. First of all, he puts his fingers in the
man’s ears, an unnerving entry into one’s personal space; and secondly and more
disgustingly by today’s health standards, he apparently spat on his own fingers
and then touched that spit to the man’s tongue. In our day, what do we think
about that healing? Most of the time we
celebrate that Jesus gave this hearing, and thus, he could speak more clearly
so people could understand him. But at the cost of changing spit with another
man? Of course we know that people in love don’t care about that, but people
afraid of catching the flu or something else still are! It bothered me growing
up when I went to church with in the summer with one of my grandparents. If I
had the littlest spot of dirt on my face, my grandmother would lick her finger
or her handkerchief and proceed to cleanse me right in front of God and
everybody. This story about healing has
some strange parts to it. The other part that I’m not sure is a blessing is
letting a person hear, who before could not; and giving the man both the
privilege—and the responsibility of speech. Now he’d have to decide kind
comments from cutting ones, and gossip from gospel. The old fable says that God
gave us two ears and one mouth so we could listen more and speak less. How are
we doing? (Oh, oh, condemnation of preachers!)
In our day, what if a child is given the gift of hearing that she did not
have before? Yes she can listen to or make music, but will she get attached to
the uplifting kind, or the revolutionary and angry kind? What music you listen
to can change your outlook on life. Yes, she could hear television and radio;
she can hear parents and teachers. But which one will be her main source of
news and choices? Some sources will be slick, packaged, and persuasive, and
some sources will it be from a person she has grown to trust. There are those
of us who are adults here, some with good hearing, some with failing hearing,
who still are mightily changed by what we hear and the tone of what we hear.
The debates across America recently have been shouted with such rancor, such
anxiety-producing pitch, with such vitriolic exchanges that I wonder if having
the gift of hearing these days is really a gift. Years ago I scoffed at what
seemed like very gullible attitudes when Orson Wells broadcast his fictional
radio program, “War of the Worlds” even with disclaimers that it was fiction,
and it still sent the nation into a panic. I am not surprised that the strong
personality of a popular boy or girl in school can talk both bright and needy
youth into doing foolish things. But as our news is filled with men trying to proposition
or kidnap kids; with women with high alcohol levels denying that they are
drunk; or with screaming matches that are called town hall discussions, I am
concerned about the gift of hearing. Does what we hear make us happier or
healthier? Clearly the answer is “it depends what we listen to.” Judson Rogers
tells the choir that practice does not make perfect; “perfect practice makes
perfect,” otherwise we learn bad habits or techniques for singing. Likewise
discerning listening makes hearing a gift; but marketers and opportunists
everywhere are paid to influence our minds through our ears. The decision for
those who can hear is, “What will I listen to and how will I engage my mind to
process it?
The last part of this passage
describes the gift of speech given to
a man by Jesus. What you listen to will affect you. But if you have a voice, you
will need to decide when and how to use it. A fraternity brother of mine used
to chidingly say to the brothers: “The hottest places in hell are reserved for
those who abstain in times when a decision is needed.” It is sometimes a tough
call to know when to speak up, and when to remain silent. And if you do speak,
comments from others like: “You’re fat,” or “you’re stupid” can stick like
Velcro on the heart of the hearer. But so can “You’re beautiful,” “You lift me
up,” and “I know you can do it!” How
will you use your voice? We cannot be limited to compliments; as Christians we
are also called to enter the moral, medical, marriage, and educational
dialogues so that those who talk first and think later do not dominate national
and community debates.
So I will seek to listen closely, but
not to everything; and I will speak when I can add something constructive or
uplifting. Jesus’ healing of that man long ago, remind us that hearing and
speaking are precious gifts. Using both well will determine the direction of
our children, our youth, and our nation.
Jeffrey Sumner